Learning the Secrets of a Life Well Lived

The Simple Woman's Daybook

2010-01-19T17:12:00.002-05:00

Outside my window... very dreary. A wet cold that makes you cold all over.

I am thinking... about starting to regularly blog. It has been on my heart for some time - now it is time to act!

I am thankful for... the life I have. My salvation and inheritance in Jesus Christ, a wonderful husband and two amazing children. Wouldn't trade it for anything.

I am wearing... my workout gear from earlier (yeah - I really did work out today...didn't just wear the cute outfit hoping it would inspire me).

I am remembering... my dreams and that sense of calling I have experienced and asking God to reveal to me the next step to take after some hard stumbles recently.

I am going... to be home this week. Benjamin and Katie are both sick with a nasty bug. Hopefully they are better and everyone can go to ChristCare (our small group) tomorrow night!

I am currently reading... The One Year NLT Chronological Bible and Jesus Calling every day this year. Just finished Sarah Palin's Going Rogue last night and am probably starting Carly Fiorina's Tough Choices tonight.

I am hoping... that my kids get better soon.

On my mind... praying for a family member who is making some bad decisions right now. Also wondering what my role for 2010 will be. 2009 ended hard and we are re-adjusting to life. Praying the spark I had in early 2009 will be relit and burn stronger this year.

Noticing that... peanut butter and jelly really does taste better when it is cut into stars and circles (at least that's what Benjamin pointed out today).

Pondering these words... "One day the members of the heavenly court came to present themselves before the LORD, and the Accuser, Satan, came with them." Job 1:6 NLT (emphasis mine). Satan came before the Lord with all of the angels. Hmmm...time to dig out some old theology books!

From the kitchen... alot of old recipes being made over for low cal, low or no sugar and low fat. Getting pretty good at it - 32 pounds lost so far!

Around the house... as much as I don't want to admit it - Christmas is still shining bright in my house. I need Chris help me get the stuff out of the attic tonight so I can start undecorating tomorrow. Sad, I know. Every year it gets better though. The worst was the year it all stayed up until the Friday before Easter. I'm not kidding either...

One of my favorite things... snuggling on the couch with one of my kiddos while drinking a cup of yummy hot tea.

For more daybook links, check out The Simple Woman's Daybook.

Facing the Truth Head On

2009-10-06T15:08:00.000-04:00

A few months ago I walked into my good buddy, Kelly's hair salon to pick up some hairspray and stopped in my tracks. "Goodness girl, how much weight have you actually lost?" I asked her.

She was dressed in the cutest capri and tank top outfit and looked like a million bucks. Over the last few months I had been watching her lose weight but never before had it been so noticeable.

"Fifty pounds as of yesterday!" Wow! 50 pounds in about 5 months.

As I mumbled something along the lines of how I wished I could do that, paid for my hairspray and started towards the door, she stopped me. She handed me a card with a phone number on it.

"Here's the phone number to the doctor who helped me, give his nurse practitioner a call and tell her you're a friend of mine."

I stuck the card in my pocket, left and found myself thinking about it a lot over the next couple days. The card sat on my desk, staring back at me from under my computer monitor for what seemed like weeks.

A few weeks later I was reading a blog of a ministry leader I adore and couldn't believe what I was reading. She was talking about her weight being a spiritual issue. She was so transparent, so real. I could relate to everything Lysa wrote, right down to the Scrabble Cheese-Its she craved.

Over the summer I continued to reads Lysa's blog and watch Kelly drop weight. They both were doing great!

Then one day I was going through my closet, trying to pick out business clothes to wear to She Speaks, the speaking and writing conference that Lysa and her Proverbs 31team put on in Charlotte. Nothing fit. Nothing looked good. Even some fall-back clothes I had saved from right after giving birth for "those days" were uncomfortable.

I called Kelly and asked her for help. She excitedly told me she had just cleaned out her closet to get rid of all her clothes that no longer fit. She wanted them gone because she never wanted to go back to them again. "They're all yours if you want them," she told me.

So I went to She Speaks with my girlfriend's fat clothes.

Friday night, Lysa was our key note speaker. She shared her journey to obedience. At one point in her message she asked us a question I will never forget, "What do you crave more than Jesus?"

Not in a million years would I have ever dared to tell you that I crave chips and salsa, extra crispy french fries, ice cream and Lays potato chips with french onion dip more than my Sweet, Precious Jesus.

Soon after I returned home, I called Kelly's doctor. The receptionist apologized and said they were not taking any new patients. I told myself, "I'm just going to have to do this on my own. Tomorrow I am going to start running again. That'll do it! When I run I drop weight quickly. I will eat better. I will keep all the junk food hidden. Grilled salmon and steamed broccoli for dinner. Special K for breakfast."

I had my plan all figured out. I would start first thing tomorrow.

Tomorrow never came.

At the beginning of September I called the doctor again and asked to be put on a waiting list if possible. The receptionist asked me if there was any medical conditions that needed immediate attention.

Yes, as a matter of fact there was. Chris has Type II Diabetes and hasn't been to a doctor is seven - count them - S-E-V-E-N years. I told the receptionist that I really wanted my husband to start seeing Tricia because I had heard she specializes in Type II Diabetes.

I was kindly told I would be called if an opening came available.

I got on my knees and prayed. I asked God to make a way for me to get an appointment to see Tricia. I can't explain it. I just knew Chris and I both needed to meet this gal and see what her program was all about.

The next day I got a phone call. ...I was no longer on the waiting list! Tricia wanted us to become her patients. I made myself and Chris each an appointment.

Yesterday, October 5 was my first appointment. I went through the normal new doctor stuff. Medical history, family history, allergies...the run down. Blood pressure was really, really good. Breathing great. Reflexes excellent. I even had an EKG. Heart looks superb. Then Tricia said something to me that changed my life.

"According to your weight you are considered obese."

Carrying 30 extra pounds? Yes. Having some challenges getting the baby weight off? Sure. Wanting to fit back into a size 8? Definitely.

Obese? No, that's for people whose stories I cry over on The Biggest Loser. That's not me.

Can't be.

Can it?

According to the American Medical Association's chart for women I am what you call obese. And as I talked with Tricia and heard her story of a 70 pound post-baby weight loss journey I realized something.

Lately I have been feeling stuck. Like I am pushing against a wall and it won't budge. I have no desire to write, no desire to study, no desire to speak (the things I love to do and am passionate about doing). I have been frustrated beyond frustrated. Edgy. Irritable. Can't seem to move forward. Felt like Jillian Michaels had strapped me to a treadmill at full throttle and I could not jump off.

For weeks I have blamed it on my brother coming to live with us and the stress that came with that move. He has a baby. He is going through a nasty divorce. He can not work due to a medical condition. He can't drive due to the medical condition. Chris and I are supporting him and his son. My house is full. My time is gone. Money is short.

Yesterday, while talking with Tricia, the Holy Spirit divinely interrupted my thoughts and revealed something to me. My brother and his son living with us is not the source of my frustration. My disobedience is.

Today I am telling you....I crave chips and salsa, extra crispy french fries, ice cream and Lays potato chips with french onion dip more than my Sweet, Precious Jesus.

There I have said it. Don't feel sorry for me. Don't try to convince me otherwise. Please don't email me and tell me I am being too hard on myself. It is simple truth and it is an area that Jesus and I are working on.

Finally.

Once and for all.

I have continued to follow Lysa and now her Executive Director, LeAnn's journeys. I cried when I read of Lysa's victory of reaching her goal weight. I shouted a yippee when LeAnn lost her first 30 pounds.

But more importantly, I have longed to have the same sweet fellowship they are experiencing with their Savior. Their Jesus. My Jesus. A fellowship that only comes with complete surrender. Complete obedience.

Why am I going to a doctor? After all, I believe and teach women all the time, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." All things.

Unfortunately I have never believed this was true with weight loss.

Disobedience, lack of faith, unbelief and lies from the pit of hell.

My reasoning for going to a doctor is two-fold. First is accountability. I obviously am not too good at doing things on my own. Getting on that scale each week in a doctor's office. Turning in my food and exercise journal.

Second is for Chris. This is a structured program that will teach us how to eat, what to eat and in what combinations to eat. We will be sugar free and simple-carb free. And we will succeed as a team. A team God joined together eight years ago.

But only through Jesus. Only through His strength. Only by being obedient and fleeing from temptation. Only by turning to Him and His Word when the cravings for salty crunch are so great I would normally drive to the gas station at 11 pm for Lays potato chips and french onion dip.

I want to be obedient and I long to hear those precious words my heart longs to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

I resign myself from the battle of weight. I am signing up for the victory that is already won. Victory of all areas of bondage - even the bondage of weight.

I will post each week after my doctors appointment. I would be honored if you came along with me. Maybe you want to join me. Post your successes. Post your stuggles. I will be open, transparent and let you have a front row seat as I walk this journey.

(This picture was taken Sunday at the apple orchard. Me in Kelly's hand-me-down jeans).

She Bows...

2009-08-04T10:28:00.001-04:00

What's a girl to think about when she has been surrounded by 600 women, looking oh so cute, in what I call God's country, The South? When Chris and I crossed over the Ohio River into Kentucky on Thursday, I said to him - "It's a good day!" When he agreed with me yet wanted to know what I meant exactly, I shouted, "It's a good day because the car is heading south!"

When Chris picked me up on Sunday and we headed even further south for the afternoon (yeah!) he laughed out loud a couple times because my Southern twang that I was forced to bury in a New York junior high had resurfaced. It only comes out when I spend time in God's country with God's girls. Just wait till Heaven y'all!

But amongst the cute, and I mean cute, Southern twangs and 600 adorable girls God calls by name, I had the privilege of meeting and gleaning from the most humble Christian leaders in the Church today. Did I say humble? Oh dear, these gals are humble. From the moment my mentors (even though they may never know it), Lysa TerKeurst and Renee Swope welcomed us on Friday afternoon to the moment we picked up our tangible promise at the foot of the Cross, I was impressed! Not impressed by the world's standards...impressed because I saw ministry living out before me.

I cannot list every impressive thing that I saw, heard or was part of this weekend. It would take hours. But I can tell you some highlights and hopefully give you a glimpse of my weekend. Lysa told us to keep a running Action Steps page in our notebook. She challenged us to take one step from each session that we can keep before us and commit to doing. My list is long y'all.

Renee challenged my seeking. Am I seeking position like the mother in Matthew 20:20-22? Or am I seeking vision like the blind men just a few verses over? Lord, I don't ever want to seek position, I only want to seek vision. Vision to see You!

Rob Eager challenged me to think BIG! Not in position mind you, but in vision! How can I share the love of Jesus with hurting girls if I am thinking small? How can I utilize today's technology to reach women? I need a website beyond this blog and I need to tweet on Twitter. Anyone up for some lessons on how to tweet? Just make sure I sound like a songbird and not a mockingbird.

Lysa stomped all over my toes Friday night. She challenged me to ask myself, ask the Lord - what do I crave, want and desire more than Jesus? She used big words like discipline, choice, self-sacrifice, and thankfulness. Why did salty, cruchy deep fried potato chips dipped in french onion dip keep going through my mind? Lord, I long for a personal revival. I know I have choices to make and I want to do it with excellence. It is not about me, Lord. Give me the grace and discipline to make it all about You! I thank you for all I am ABLE to do in Your Name.

The breakout sessions were the best hands on, we've been there, we want to share every minute detail of what we know so you can be here too, lessons of HUMILITY that I have ever seen or been part of. Lysa has built a team of humble, giving leaders who walk their talk! It was so great gaining wisdom, rubbing shoulders and sharing hugs with the authors, bloggers and speakers who have been used to changed my life over the last few years. I fell head over heals in love with Wendy Pope. She lets her laundry pile up when she is doing a Greek or Hebrew word study! See, honey, I'm not weird....

And then the crecendo ~ Jennifer Rothchild! My oh my! What a gal she is! What a servant she is! I started crying from the moment she walked on stage, telling us how she pinned jingle bells on her sons so she could hear them because her sight was gone by the time she became a mother, to the moment she walked out of the room with a standing ovation. And it was an Oprah "ugly cry", y'all. Thankfully the hotel was classy enough to give us cloth napkins.

I have loved reading Jennifer's story, following her newsletter and listening to her music but to listen to her heart, touch her heart and steal a piece of her heart is something I hope I don't get over anytime too soon. I wanted her to pack me up in her suitcase and take me home with her. I want her to teach me how. How to do the thing she keeps doing with such grace. Lord I pray that I always strive to keep my ministry grounded and never inflated. That my ministry refines me and never defines me. And that the only goal for my ministry is to make Your Name known!

Sunday was a precious time sitting at the foot of the Cross with Renee to receive the gift of rest. To receive the gift as a gift. To stop, really stop so I can receive it. Oh Lord, give me the strength and grace to receive your precious gift of rest so I can do this thing you've called me to do. Starting within my own four walls. To my first ministry You have called me to ~ my home. And may I serve them with excellence.

I am still on information overload. I have ideas floating through this bleach-blonde brain of mine. But the highlight of the trip was the first few hours on the drive home. Chris and I talked, planned, dreamed and committed.

You see, while I was inside the hotel and conference center being trained and fed, Chris was being called. Called to manage this scatter brained blonde who just wants to see women know and love them some Jesus. Called to lead our family's ministry from behind the scenes. Called to encourage me to keep going, to write when I need to write, to get out and make the connections I need to make. Called to do what he has done for 17 years for corporate America. To encourage and to stretch folks to be better than they thought themselves was possible. We are the epitome of the perfect match -Chris' brain and my mouth. The thing that gets each of us in trouble ~ Chris overthinks things and I overspeak things (isn't "overspeak" a nice, cute way of saying it?). God knew, God created, God ordained, and now God has called.

And she bows...

Reversal of Emotions

2009-07-28T09:28:00.000-04:00

In just two short days we will be packing up the car and driving to Charlotte NC. Chris and the kids are going to to spend a long weekend with the Gronstal clan. I understand from my nephew that all kinds of fun is planned. Since David and Abi are 16 and 14 respectively, it is a given that my kids, not quite 3 and 16 months are going to be doted on, spoiled rotten and given anything their puppy dog eyes want.

Mom, on the other hand is heading to Concord NC to sit at the feet of Jesus and learn from some of the best women authors and speakers in the Christian market today. I have the incredible blessing of attending She Speaks, a writers and speakers conference designed with gals like me in mind.

For weeks I have been a ball of nerves. I even started believing the lie that maybe I was in over my head. I read other attendees stories and, man, they are good and most of them are professionals. Me, I'm just a stay at home Mom with a fire-burning-in-my-bones passion to see women come to know Jesus between Genesis and Revelation.

But in I Corinthians 1:27 I read from Paul that "Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful."

Yes, Beloved, God chose me and to the world it may look like foolishness. Where are your credentials? Where did you receive your formal training? You don't have a name that is known. You are a mom with two toddlers who keep you busy and now your brother and his baby are living in your house. You are taking on too much.

My credentials? I said Yes! to the God of the Universe in whom "all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." (Psalm 139:16b).

My formal training? At my dining room table surrounded by the Bread of Life, the Words of Life and a still small voice whispering His Truth into my heart and mind.

I don't have a name? Oh yes, I have a name and I have a name that is written in the palms of my God's hands. (see Isaiah 49:16).

Too much going on? Not enough time in the day? King Solomon had some wisdom for us moms with too much to do..."Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed" (Proverbs 16:3)

Nervous today? Nope! Worried about being in over my head? Not one bit! Sound a bit too sure of myself? I have no confidence in myself what so ever. My confidence is in the One who called. My confidence is in the One who saved me from myself. "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him." (Jeremiah 17:7)

How about you, Beloved? What plans have you buried deep in the crevices of your heart? Has the world convinced you that it is foolish? Has the world asked to see your credentials? Remember, God does not go to the world for approval of His plans. He speaks to each one of His children...still today. Have your heard His voice?

Father, we are amazed at how you work. You are constantly calling out the foolish things of this world in order to build your Kingdom. Forgive us Father for ignoring your call and listening to the world's objections. Give us Grace to say Yes to Your call. Here we are Lord, send us. You are so worthy!

Wildflowers In The Valley

2009-07-26T18:07:00.000-04:00

I love to cook and collect cookbooks. No matter what mood we are in for dinner, I am just pages away from finding the perfect recipe to satisfy our culinary craving, whether it is Coq au Vin from France or sauerbraten from Germany. Recently I was craving good, old fashioned comfort food. The kind you want to eat with a spoon as you are curled up in a blanket with a fire warming the room.

As I flipped through the pages of the most comforting cookbook I own, Jan Karon’s Mitford Cookbook & Kitchen Reader, looking for the perfect chicken and dumplings or apple pie recipe, this statement leaped off the page, “We know that nothing grows on the mountain peaks; fertility lies in the valleys.”
Wow, what a statement! The kind of quote you want to jot down and imprint on your heart.

I can testify to the truth of this statement. During the fall of 2007, Chris, Benjamin and I (pregnant with our darling Katie) were trekking through the Rocky Mountain National Park outside Estes Park, Colorado. As we drove and hiked several thousand feet above sea level we saw God’s most prized artwork. Chris and I were bystanders as nature sang its praise to God. We were privileged to witness Isaiah 55:12 coming alive before us. It was simply breathtaking.

At the highest point of our travels, we found ourselves buttoning up our coats, protecting Benjamin from the wind and experiencing the American Tundra. You can see for miles on a clear day. It is exceptionally beautiful but very…well, bare. Nothing grows in the tundra except very, very small plants that have adapted to the harsh climate and fierce winds.

We each long to have mountain-top experiences in our spiritual life. We equate the mountain-top as victory, a place to rest after battle, the joy that comes after the tears and a place where praises to our God fall easily from our lips. This is where we want to stay. But once on the mountain top, we can look down into the valley we just climbed out of and see the green grass and a meadow full of wildflowers that were watered with our tears. Not until we look down from the mountain top do we see the growth that came while living in the valley.

Last fall I had the awesome privilege of leading a ladies retreat for about 40 women. For most of us it was a mountain top experience, we were away from stresses of everyday life, didn’t have to cook and were sharing a precious time in the Word. I heard several times during that weekend, “I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to return to the day-to-day stresses I am faced with.”

After witnessing God heal hearts and transform lives, I left the gals with a promise found in Philippians 1:6, a promise that we can all claim while in our valley. “Being confident in this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” No matter what valley we find ourselves in, rest assured God will be faithful to complete the work started in us. Commit this time of heartache, this time of pain as an offering to God, laying it on His altar.

As he penned Psalm 126:5-6 in The Message, Eugene Peterson wrote, So those who planted their crops in despair will shout hurrahs at harvest, so those who went off with heavy hearts will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing.

Are you sowing seeds in despair? Are you watering those seeds during the dark, lonely nights with your tears? Take heart dear one, our Lord has promised that we will be able to pick armloads of wildflowers and dance our way to the altar with joy and thanksgiving.

Jesus, Fix the Moon!

2009-03-17T14:52:00.000-04:00

"What would happen if you really believed what you really believed were really true?" This question is asked during the second session of Focus on the Family's Truth Project. Dr. Del Tackett asks this to his classroom students and then proceeds to tell his students that if each one of them really believed that what they really believed was really true, that small class of 15 or so could turn the world upside down singlehandedly.

I thought about this just a couple weeks ago when we decided we were going to go out to eat and then do some shopping on a Friday evening. By the time Chris had gotten home from work and we bundled everyone up to leave, it was dark outside. We were just starting down the driveway when Benjamin said, "Mommy, the moon's broken. Fix the moon Mommy!" At first I thought he was asking us to turn on the DVD in the van. I started to tell him we were just diving into town and he didn't need a movie when he said it again, this time pointing at the sunroof. "The moon's broken Mommy, fix the moon!"

I leaned back so I could look through the sunroof and see what Benjamin was seeing. There, smack dab in the center of the glass of the sunroof was indeed the moon. High up in the sky. Only it was not a full moon. It was a small crecent moon. The kind where the Man in the Moon lives. And it was broken to Benjamin.

"Mommy can't fix the moon sweetie," I explained. "Then Daddy can! Fix the moon Daddy!" Benjamin yelled.

Aha! A God moment, I thought to myself. Time to teach Benjamin that there are somethings in life that only God can fix. Like broken moons. "Benjamin, Mommy and Daddy can't fix the moon. Only God can. You need to ask God to fix the moon."

Then with every ounce of faith his 2-1/2 year old heart could muster, Benjamin proceeded to look up to the sky and yell, "Jesus - Fix the moon!!!!"

My eyes welled with tears. I got the breathtaking experience of seeing my child understand that Jesus can do anything. All we have to do is ask and believe.

Do we really believe God's promises? Do we believe in God or do we actually believe God? Anyone can believe in God. Something like 94% of our country will say, "I believe there is a God" but what about believing God. Taking God at His Word? Believing His promises are true. Believing that Paul was right, I CAN do all things through Christ who strenghthens me. Believing God is all-knowing, all-loving and can supply all my needs.

So I ask you, what would happen if you really believed that what you really believed were really true? Could we turn the world upside down? You bet! Take God at His Word. Remind Him of His Promises. Have faith like a child. Believe He can do anything - including fixing the moon.